Tuesday, April 10, 2007

I swore this time would be different (6dp3dt)

I truly did.  I really held myself back so as to not have the crushing defeat of loss.  Then I got caught up in the fact that we had good numbers and a reason for the last failure. 

So now I have been cruising along with all this hope in my heart and realizing that if this is another failure I might be destroyed.  The only 'symptom' I have been having is a little blood when I blow my nose.  I never have a bloody nose except right after transfer so it correlates with 'pregnancy' symptoms.  I have not felt bad, super tired, or gained any weight.  In fact I have lost a couple pounds since the retrieval, which doesn't sound like a good sign.

Each of the other times I got pregnant I felt incredibly tired and starving all the time.  I don't know when it kicked it but I do remember having it before the pregnancy test so I would expect it to be now or at least soon.  When is it too early to POAS??  I am desperately ready to do it now, but I might lose it if I get a negative.  I think it might be a little early for any sign, though a stick should be able to give me some info in the next day or so right??

I have the 'test 5 days early' sticks so in theory, I should be able to POAS by tomorrow for a sign.  H is counseling me not to test, which I know is the right answer, but I will need to be prepared before I have my blood test.  I will need to have some idea of the answer soon or I might make myself insane.  

I have 3 sticks on hand, you know, just in case.  Maybe I will tempt fate and try one tomorrow.

5 comments:

Nicole said...

If you can, hold out tomorrow, that much less of a chance of a false negative. And, as we know, there's a lot of false negatives out there. I certainly endured one when I tested a few days too early. Good luck, I've got all my digits crossed for you.

Suzanne said...

word of warning- the miracle 5 days early sticks gave me a negative, the day I had a beta of 63 and had a tearful conversation with my mother about how pregnancy was just not meant to be with me (3rd IVF, 1 miscarriage). I had absolutely no symptoms either. I'll be 33 weeks on Friday. Keep hoping!

Hopeful Mother said...

I think testing at 11dpo will give you a reliable result (usually) so I'd wait just a few more days...

Hoping, hoping, hoping for you...

Nico said...

As far as the symptoms not being the same as your previous pregnancies, I'd say maybe that's a good thing - different is hopefully BETTER! I also think you should hold out on POAS as long as you possibly can. Too many false negative stories out there, why put yourself through that? I'm hoping, hoping, hoping too!!!

Adrienne said...

If you can find the will, don't do it. Wait until Day 14 of your cycle so you don't get a false negative. That's the last thing you need.

Keeping hope for you over here...