The transfer went well and, for us, the numbers were encouraging. We had 15 follicles, all of which were mature though only 9 fertilized. I think that might be a record number of fertilization for us though. We have had many more follicles before but used to have 50% mature and then another 60% fertilization rate. So this new protocol is much improved. I can tell you our protocol if anyone is interested.
Anyway, of the 9, 2 were 8 cell 1 rating. Our clinic uses a 0 as perfect/no degradation and goes up to 4 for highly fragmented/poor, so a 1 is very good/minimal fragmentation. There was also a 10 cell 1 rating. Each of these was assisted hatched and put in. Two others were a 6 and 7, and they were either 1 or 2. The clinic thought they had a chance to be frozen but we never got a call so I assume that that didn't happen. Really I am not disappointed. I would have liked to be able to freeze but we have never even had results this good before, so I am not going to be greedy.
The other 4 were all scheduled for destruction. Mostly they had stopped growing after the first day and were just going to be used for testing, so at least I feel like something good might come from them.
For me, this 2ww is the best part. I am anxious, but the only news we can get is either good or bad, but not devastating. I mean, if we get a negative, it will be very sad, but it won't be a death. If we get a positive beta and then lose it (again) then I don't know if I can take it. Another death (I know, miscarriage is the 'more appropriate' term, but that isn't what it feels like) could really just set me over the edge.
Right now, my life is moving in a good direction. I have found a few things to do with my time that I am really looking forward too, my job search is (hopefully) coming to an end (seriously if it isn't I am about to just toss in the towel and work at a bookstore for the discount) and this has been our best cycle yet. If any of these precariously perched items falls then I might just lose it. I am trying to build strength into my life so that if one thing fails it doesn't destroy me, but it has been hard with everything being 'imperfect' right now.