Friday, January 26, 2007

Winter laundry tips

If you want to do laundry in the winter, I have some tips. 

If you are using the hand-wash cycle for sweaters... allow just a little spin to release 10 of the 50 lbs of water trapped in the sweaters.

If you have heard that drying outside in chilly weather will speed up the drying process for said sweaters... don't put them in the shade, or in 1F weather.  Wet clothing + 1F + bare hands = rapid onset hypothermia.

If you see icicles forming off the arms of the sweaters... don't just giggle and think how funny it looks.  Remove sweaters from porch bench before they become a permanent fixture or they might snap when you are trying to move them.

If you do move the sweaters into the sun... make sure to take a picture before your sculptures melt.

I'll post a picture later.

Wednesday, January 24, 2007


I met a friend for lunch yesterday.  We used to work together but she too was recently laid off.  She was one of the people I spoke to quite a bit as she also went through fertility treatments way back when.  She has a 21 yo daughter and it took them 11 years to get pregnant, so she is someone I feel comfortable talking to about this process.

While at lunch we talked about where I am and what is going on.  She is always understanding and helpful but yesterday was especially nice.  We were discussing options, a sixth IVF cycle, adoption, foster care, blah blah blah and she started talking about her daughter.  She said that she doesn't really remember the pregnancy or delivery.  The only thing she remembers is the moment they put the child in her arms.  She believes that she wouldn't have felt any differently about her daughter had it been adoption. 

In fact she said she often looks at her daughter and asks herself if they are related because she says or does something that is foreign to her parents.  She says she doesn't feel a 'connection' to her child like something mystical, but that she loves her because of the person she has become. 

It was a nice way to look at adoption.  No matter how you get your child, you go through frustration and difficulty but when someone puts a child in your arms, it is yours.  Your baby.

Friday, January 19, 2007


I have restarted acupuncture again.  This time I found a clinic near my home.  I have no way to measure the different facilities so I prefer to go to a closer site than the 40 minutes I was driving before.  Also, I have a theory that each person has their own strengths and so I hedge my bets by going to different people in the same clinic.  I have no idea if this helps at all.  I just know that I have had a session today to calm me and relax me, and it is 12:48am.  I have already finished a novel and trying not to start another one so I am not up until dawn. 

I had a great discussion with a friend today who has his own company and asked if I can help him launch his products.  It was very exciting and really could be an incredible opportunity.  I can't really go into any sort of detail, but I have been really excited about this project for a while and now he has asked me to join in and help. 

There is a bit to talk about, I finally heard from my clinic regarding the karyotyping of the fetal material removed during the last procedure.  It was a boy.  I guess I had told my friend that I believed it was a boy several times, and when I called to tell her the result her first words were 'you were right'.  It was a nice reminder that I was connected to this thing growing inside me. 

The unfortunate/fortunate results were that the fetus had a double x, so he was xxy instead of xy.  This is apparently called Klinefelter's syndrome.  Only about 0.1% of babies born have this so that is really a shocking display of statistics sticking it to us.  We keep falling on the wrong side of statistics but seriously, I can't even count on 99.9%??  Fuck.  

The good news (to me) is that the loss was not due to anything I did.  Nature saw that there was a mistake and corrected it.  Unfortunately between myself and my husband, we created something so stubborn that even with something seriously wrong he wasn't going to give up.  I fell while we were away on our trip.  I fell hard and really hurt myself.  I have a huge bruise, and an abrasion that was the size of the palm of my hand on my hip.  i was certain that this is what killed our child.  Also, we flew which our last cliinic (the one run by quacks, I know) didn't recommend.  I was sure that one or both of those things were the reason that I was no longer pregnant.

This might sound bad, but I am glad that there was something wrong to point to.  If there had to be a failure at least there is a reason that I can learn about and determine if there is some genetic proclivity towards it.  Also now we can do PGD and only put back the healthy embryo(s).  Maybe this actually means there might be hope.

Friday, January 12, 2007

Car thoughts

For the last year or so, H has been looking at buying a new car.  We don't really need a new car as we have a car and an SUV.  The SUV is a little too gas-happy, but we don't drive it long distances usually.  The car is great, though not great in the winter. 

He wants a sporty convertible (in Boston-very useful) and I would like to see if we have a child to determine what vehicle we buy.  We had an agreement that if we got pregnant he would hold off and then we would buy something that can accept a car seat in the back.  Well we got pregnant and then lost it.  So now he is back to looking at convertibles.  In January.  In Boston.  In 35 degree weather. 

I don't really have any good rationale anymore.  We have done 5 IVF cycles with no success and we are on board for another cycle in the nearish future, but what are the chances of success?  Why are we holding off on a purchase because maybe in a year or two, possibly there might be any chance of putting a car seat in a vehicle.

Well what if there is no car seat?  Why wouldn't we get the car he wants?  I still think it is a silly purchase, but I also don't really care that much.

When we bought this house, I was sold on the fact that the back yard was awesome for kids.  That the bedrooms were perfect for several kids or just 1 and maybe an au pair?  That we never use half of the house now because we only need 2 or 3 rooms. 

I told H that I am willing to sell the house and move closer to the city, maybe an apartment on the T line.  Then job searching will be much easier, and getting in and out of the clinic will also be more convenient.

Why wouldn't we buy (or sell) the things we want because it might conflict with our plan, that might never happen?

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Nice day

Today was a nice day.  There was a lot of cooking and friends and food all around. 

It started simply enough with a mention of brunch to a couple of friends.  That blossomed into a couple of other friends.  Then H's brother and wife were available only for the day so we figured, hey why not? 

It also began with bagels and smoked salmon, well some of our friends don't like fish, and the kids certainly won't eat them so I started adding a couple of 'options'. 

I asked H about french toast but he didn't want to make something high fat or anything that needed to be cooked while people were around.

I found a recipe for baked french toast that you make the night before and bake for 30 minutes.  It is full of butter and eggs and cream, but if you ignore everything and use egg whites and skim milk, grease the pan with a little olive oil spray and just brush the bread with a slight coat of margarine you can make practically fat free french bread.  It was so very yummy yummy yummy.  It soaks in all night, then you put some sugar and cinnamon over the top then bake for about 25-30 minutes at 425. 

We put some strawberries and light cool whip over the top and so very good. 

Of course you can't just serve french toast and bagels with smoked salmon and all the trimmings.  That would be silly, so lets cut up 3 lbs of potatoes into matchsticks, and hey, lets just add some sausage just for a little variety. 

This happens a lot.  I start a project and then think 'oh, wouldn't that be cool to add this or that, then it would be so much better'.  I really enjoyed the day and it works out for a party and group of friends, but it doesn't seem to work out when I try to translate that into a job search or decided what I want to do with my life.

It does make a damn good breakfast though.  DELICIOUS.

After clean-up, and a fire in the pit backyard...

oh by the way, it was 50-odd degrees in January in Boston!  Yay!

...I couldn't just sit there and see a clean kitchen.  So I figured I would add french onion soup to the mix.  There seems to be a theme happening.  Anyway, I have made it several times and my husband loves it.  I don't eat it so I can't tell you how it takes, but it makes the house smell like onions to the studs.  It also takes hours to cook down to usability.  I do love the process though.  H is always so very happy when it is done and he gets to eat it every day for weeks.  I make a couple of buckets at once so I don't have to make it again for a long long time.  I smell of onions for days, as it gets right into every pore of my body and nothing gets rid of that smell. 

Still, my family does seem to love it, so it makes me look good and I certainly like that. 

It was a very nice day.

Next up, lets talk about a car!

Friday, January 05, 2007

Slipper update

Just to satisfy curiosity look at these:

in adult size, of course.

When I told H the first words he said were, "Please tell me it wasn't the blue fuzzy ones."  I was glad to be able to say they weren't.

And got the HCG phone call and I am finally negative after the D&E, it took a long time but we are there.  Still no period, but I started acupuncture again today to help restart my system.  I hope it helps.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

Back on

Well, I just boycotted the last several weeks.  We didn't have a tree, do any decorating, and only bought the barest minimum of gifts.  Gift giving was easier this year in general as my siblings and I have agreed to no longer exchange gifts.  Instead we are only doing gifts for the nieces and nephews now.  It was better as the gifts are smaller and easier.  It was a little difficult as I kept spending all sorts of time in the kiddie sections of every store, but it was ok.  I have been a lot better recently, and getting better still.  It was very hard through the holidays and then on December 26, I woke up in a very good mood.  Even H commented on it.  I didn't realize it, but I was just happy that everything was over and we could move on.

There are some very kind and considerate people reading blogs.  I even got a christmas card!  It was so nice to read your comments too.  Thank you.

I do have to say today was an odd day.  I have had a cold for a few days, and apparently it has hit me a little harder than I thought.  I had a bunch of dr appointments today and was going to be out all day.  I got up, took a shower, ate breakfast, blah blah blah.  It was a totally normal morning.  I got in the car and heading to the highway.  I was about 10 minutes from my house when  I looked down and realized I was wearing my slippers.  Seriously.  I was so horrified.  I didn't have enough time to go all the way home, so I had to continue to my first appointment.  I was going to wear my Uggs and the slippers are similar to Uggs, so I was hoping that I could get away with it.  My jeans are also long so I pulled the bottoms over the slippers to hide them a little. 

I went to the first appointment and then rushed over to a Payless to try to find a pair of cheap shoes to change into.  I am still not working so I didn't want to buy something that I wouldn't wear again.  I didn't find anything in the 15 minutes I had, so I had to go to my next appointment still in slippers. 

My next appointment was with CL (crazy lady) she is the woman who gives me my meds.  Either she is crazy or I am, so I say that it is my CL appointment.  Here I am, at a therapists office, discussing how I am dealing with the miscarriage and my job search and life while sitting there in my slippers.

I called my friend and told her, and she started laughing hysterically.  I told her I wasn't going to tell H or anyone else, but I broke that about 5 minutes after I started talking to him so I figured I might as well tell you guys too!