Thursday, February 23, 2006

More news

Just the other day my friend told me she and her husband are discussing their third child.  They had always talked about 2, for as long as I have known her, and they have 1 of each so I never expected her to have that discussion. 

These are incredibly good friends of ours and we love them greatly.  I feel like she just tried to slip that into conversation and didn't know how I would react. 

I feel like I handled it well, though the subsequent bout of depression might argue against that.  I just didn't know what to say.  When she had her second and we were still unsuccessful trying, I was sad that our children might not get to grow up together. 

Now that they are discussing their third, and we are on our 4th IVF, it seems I might never even have children for her children to get to know.

She has always been incredibly supportive of our issues, and I certainly don't expect her to hold off on another child until I am ready for her to have one, but I am still shell-shocked.

Why is it all so hard sometimes?

Monday, February 20, 2006

Bleak house

What do you do when a friend announces her pregnancy?? Especially when you introduced her to fertility treatments? And now she is pregnant and you still have no hope?

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Bleeding again

Last night the bleeding began.  Granted I expected it, though not when since the DNC changed my cycle to something unscheduleable, but still it is disappointing.  I know I shouldn't be sad (and I am not too bad) but still there was always that teeny, tiny hope that maybe I could have gotten pregnant this cycle.  With no medical intervention, and no planning.  Maybe I had relaxed or something!  But no, unfortunately that isn't the case. 

Since there is a wait until the next time we can even try, (10weeks) I will need to start posting about my random thoughts.

I don't want to talk about H much, or family, since it seems that gets people into trouble, but I will see what pieces of random flightiness pops out of my head over the next few months.