Thursday, September 14, 2006
Beginning IVF #5
Today the spotting begins. My cycle is starting and I need to get my first US tomorrow. I am terribly nervous and a little teary. I am doubling up on Acupuncture and Massage for the next couple of weeks to help 'calm' me. I don't know that it works that way but at least while I am there I am allowed to sit in a blank quiet room nothing but a warm lamp on and some light music. I do find that I get to drift a little during that part, though the last massage has left some significant bruising.
This is not a joke. I had trouble sleeping the first night because every time I turned over, I woke myself up with a stabbing pain. I am hoping that a hot bath and another massage (with some rules set!) might help.
I am worried about the spotting as I am not really at day 1, but I spoke to the nurse and since I am on a short course of BC and am only 2 weeks into my cycle, she doesn't expect much more than spotting. I don't know. This whole cycle is so different from any that we have done previously. That could be good or not. I have no idea.
The old clinic sent a letter recently to say that the Dr who was our guy is no longer with the facility. Of course there is no 'reason' associated with his leaving, but I would guess that all the bad press lately couldn't have been helpful.
I don't know what I will do if this is another failed cycle. I am not sure if I can handle another massive failure. Even medicated.