For the last year or so, H has been looking at buying a new car. We don't really need a new car as we have a car and an SUV. The SUV is a little too gas-happy, but we don't drive it long distances usually. The car is great, though not great in the winter.
He wants a sporty convertible (in Boston-very useful) and I would like to see if we have a child to determine what vehicle we buy. We had an agreement that if we got pregnant he would hold off and then we would buy something that can accept a car seat in the back. Well we got pregnant and then lost it. So now he is back to looking at convertibles. In January. In Boston. In 35 degree weather.
I don't really have any good rationale anymore. We have done 5 IVF cycles with no success and we are on board for another cycle in the nearish future, but what are the chances of success? Why are we holding off on a purchase because maybe in a year or two, possibly there might be any chance of putting a car seat in a vehicle.
Well what if there is no car seat? Why wouldn't we get the car he wants? I still think it is a silly purchase, but I also don't really care that much.
When we bought this house, I was sold on the fact that the back yard was awesome for kids. That the bedrooms were perfect for several kids or just 1 and maybe an au pair? That we never use half of the house now because we only need 2 or 3 rooms.
I told H that I am willing to sell the house and move closer to the city, maybe an apartment on the T line. Then job searching will be much easier, and getting in and out of the clinic will also be more convenient.
Why wouldn't we buy (or sell) the things we want because it might conflict with our plan, that might never happen?
6 comments:
Every choice, every decision, every plan seems like such torment, doesn't it? I try to plan, but its so useless when there isn't anything to plan for yet. Sad times.
Ooooh, this is such a good question and a good point. It's sort of a repeat of pre-marriage too. There are so many time in life where we put ourselves on hold. And at what point is it healthier to just continue on without taking things into consideration and at what point is it necessary to visualize a future. You gave me a lot to think about today.
Added you to the book tour list--I'm going to post it tomorrow.
I'm with your hubby on the convertible... I managed to talk my DH into buying me the Beemer 325 convertible a few years ago. So much fun! (And I drive it with the top down from March until November, usually. Any time the temperature is above 50, that top comes down, baby! Managed it in January this year, which was a first.)
Can you put the car seat into whatever vehicle you wouldn't be getting rid of? In that case, it seems to me like he can have his cake and eat it too.
Everything doesn't have to be practical. I think that there is something practical about unexplainable happiness, for instance your husband enjoying a convertible in a blizzard. It sucks substituting a sub-par item for an item that was in-reach. For the rest of that item's life, I kick myself for not getting the item that I really wanted. Live in the present.
And think - the money you save on IVF will more than make up for the money you lose buying and selling a convertable.
The best decision we made was opting (after 6 months of searching and never quite being able to commit) for a tiny two-bedroom inner-city cottage instead of a family home.
Bea
We have a four bedroom house (though it only has a tiny yard, no garden) and we are really thinking, what would we do if/when we have a child/children? My mother even asked (when we told her of our plans to adopt) "where will you put them?"
We have 3 main rooms downstairs - TV room, dining room, kitchen. On the 1st floor (UK) we have a big living room at the front, then our bedroom, my study/sewing room and the bathroom. On the 2nd floor the attic is converted into a further bedroom which has a lot of stuff stored in it but which is big enough that it is used as our spare bedroom.
Tell you what, we'll come and stay with you in Boston and a) I'll get a chance to show my husband Boston and b) we can tell you how to fill up those rooms without children...
I think I always did the "do it for me" thing whenever I could before I got married, too - and was really glad I did, when things didn't work out.
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