Today I had a wonderful day (HA) at the clinic. I needed a bunch of tests and blood to find out what the F... is wrong with me.
So of course, I asked them to toss in a pap, because why not? Legs are up, crotch is uncovered, go ahead.
I am not sure if I have mentioned but I am really terrible at the down-there doctor. Like really tense bad. I try to relax and remind myself this is no big deal but somehow it is always a big deal. I have gotten better especially since I am feet-up every couple of months for another transfer/retrieval/blah/blah/blah, but still not great.
Well today was a topper. On top of a pap, I needed a hysteroscopy and a biopsy of some sort. The hysteroscopy was horrid. There was so much pain, and there is no apparent reason. Some people (most) don't really mind the procedure, but I could feel shooting pain all the way out into my hips.
The biopsy was less painful, which is also a little odd according to the dr, but I was totally accepting.
Now I am bleeding and crampy. Just so uncomfortable.
And we have a 'romantic' weekend planned. I hope to feel better, otherwise this weekend would be a bust, and really, that might piss me off more than anything else.
This whole process has taken a lot of the 'fun' out of stuff. Everything is timed and monitored and nothing is random spontaneous fun now. It is pretty frustrating and I don't think I like it.
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4 comments:
I find that a nice firm involuntary relexive kick to the doctor's head provides a good bit of relaxation. ;)
I so get where you are coming from! Until rather recently, I would rather have had a tooth canal done than have a pap smear. I did it, but I hated it. Nowadays, though it doesn't seem to bother me.
I think the main reason was that for a good portion of the time I was dealing with this aversion, I was having severe inflammation due to allergies and my reproductive system was out of whack. A couple of times I had the pap smear and immediately got my period. Made for many a ruined weekend.
Pax,
MLO
Omg. I have issues like that. It just HURTS. Eew.
I'm sorry, NCD. I hope you're feeling better now.
I think the fact that you're flat on your back and you can't really see the doctor makes it scarier. Worse. I'm much better with doctors where I can sit up and look them in the eye rather than stare at the ceiling.
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