Better Living Through Chemistry

Thank goodness for medicine. Things have gotten so much better since I first went to this new clinic. I haven't actually done a cycle or anything which is disappointing, but I did get some medicine to help me with my hormonal and emotional levels. At first it helped and I finally started to see the world with a little light and less bleak.

It was completely a quirk of fate, and maybe some sort of blessing, that I did all this just a week or so before I was laid off. Even with medication, the lay-off was incredibly hard. For two weeks I was just completely out of touch with life or anything remotely attached. I couldn't focus, think or respond.

Then suddenly the wall broke through and things have gotten so much better. I can now focus on things (most of the time) and it was like breaking through the clouds and coming up into a clear sky. And this was even during the endless rain we had here, or at least it felt like endless rain, it is really hard to tell. Anyway, it turns out that these things often take 4-6 weeks to fully kick in and gain complete effectiveness.

So far I am right on schedule and that is incredible. I am still exhausted all the time, which is another side effect, it may resolve or it may not. If not there are other medical avenues to take and ones more natural (yay to caffeine!!). But even so, just knowing that this is a normal response and that I am not constantly thinking of how to hurt myself without leaving a mess for H to clean up is a wonderful change.

The goal of all this crap

Unfortunately I don't know how to turn this so it is upright. I don't know what I should set to make this work, so I hope you don't mind. I will try to figure out the correct setting for the next one. This is my nephew learning how to play frisbee.

Something less depressing

Right now I am trying to use the Blogger photo option, but the upload is super-slow. Hopefully I will get a flickr account soon and maybe that will be faster. I haven't really played around with any features of this blog, but I want to start. I also took a quick video that I want to try to post if I can figure it out.














Thanks for all the comments about our yard and lawn. H is very proud of that lawn and it has taken us a couple of years to get it to this point. When we moved in the backyard was a disaster. It was all uneven and had no grass on a huge chunk of it. H was determined to have a great big green carpet and he succeeded.



















We bought and loved that chiminea the first season we got it. We even had a huge bonfire in it once, there was lighter fluid involved and it looked like a rocket, very cool. After that though, we have hardly used it at all. I want to try to use it again this year. If the weather will cooperate, maybe we can start using it. Unfortunately it isn't really big enough to use the firewood for the fireplace so we have to get wood specifically sized to fit in the chiminea. Maybe that is what always deters us?















This last one is from a graveyard down in Boston. I just like the textures and 'feel' of it.



















Please let me know what you think. I love the video I shot today. Unfortunately I ran out of memory about 10 seconds in, but I guess that means you are not subjected to a long, rambling video when I get it posted.

Something different

There isn't much to report in IF land. Most everyone seems to be doing horribly this week.

Next week we are hoping to find out if there is some genetic reason that this is so hard. Turns out that both H and I have some likelihood of a problem due to our backgrounds. In fact we have different backgrounds but the same likely problem. Weird.

I just wanted to post something different, so here goes...

I hope this works.

This is one reason for all the pervasive depression. Yes, those are raindrops and they have been there for weeks.

Because of this, I wanted to also post a couple from the brief breaks in the weather. Some of those are kinda old, but since we haven't had sun for 3 consecutive days in months, we have had the endless spring so some of these are from the last week or two. I will try posting those later today.

Please let me know what you think.

OK, so I meant a 35 day cycle

I guess I haven't hit menopause yet.  Just a weird 35 day cycle, hopefully it was just a weird one-time thing.  This is a very rare thing for me to be so irregular.  I hope this is not repeated.  Unfortunately this means we might not be able to do a cycle before we are supposed to go on a long trip for a friend's wedding.  That might mean that we are on hold until September/October. 

That would mean that we have only had 2 IVF cycles in one whole year.  One failed at 6 weeks but took an extra couple to confirm and then 4 months off 'down time' and the last cycle, the raging failure.