I have just been reviewing my life a little today. I realized that since I have gotten settled into work a little bit more that I haven't taken many pictures of the baby. He is changing so much all the time, but my time seems to short with him that stopping for a camera has fallen by the wayside.
I realize that I need to work on balance for my life to work out. I enjoy working, my job is challenging and interesting but I also love my child and don't want to miss out or forget so much. I didn't even post a specific 8 month post. I kept thinking about one since there have been so many changes but then the month just got too far along.
I have also been dealing with a bit of depression. This month has made me so sad. I felt like I have been abandoning my child. Like he is going to forget me, and love the au pair instead. The au pair is wonderful and she loves him. I do not worry about her, just that he will grow confused about our relationship. It has been very difficult, but has finally gotten better. Even H was worried about me and usually he is not very observant about things like that.
I (mostly) know that my fears are groundless but when I am in a bad place I can't turn my mind from them.
I am in a better spot mentally and emotionally this week, so now is when I need to make the changes to keep me on an even keel. I will post next week for a 9 month post. I promise myself and my child.
I realize that I need to work on balance for my life to work out. I enjoy working, my job is challenging and interesting but I also love my child and don't want to miss out or forget so much. I didn't even post a specific 8 month post. I kept thinking about one since there have been so many changes but then the month just got too far along.
I have also been dealing with a bit of depression. This month has made me so sad. I felt like I have been abandoning my child. Like he is going to forget me, and love the au pair instead. The au pair is wonderful and she loves him. I do not worry about her, just that he will grow confused about our relationship. It has been very difficult, but has finally gotten better. Even H was worried about me and usually he is not very observant about things like that.
I (mostly) know that my fears are groundless but when I am in a bad place I can't turn my mind from them.
I am in a better spot mentally and emotionally this week, so now is when I need to make the changes to keep me on an even keel. I will post next week for a 9 month post. I promise myself and my child.
1 comment:
Be kind to yourself. Working mama is a tough title. I think every working mom has had similar fears. And guilt. I feel that nearly every day.
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