Sunday, April 27, 2008

4 and 1/3 months

Honey-pie, pumpkin-pie, love-nugget, sweetness,

I am late for this months posting.  This months has been exciting and wonderful and a little busy.

We had to go to a funeral for a friend's mother and met some wonderful people.  We took care of a 2 year old for a couple of days while her parents thought they would be having her brother.  It is now a week later and still no baby brother. 

You have been so incredible this month.  You have started to pay attention to the book when we read.  You look at the pictures.  You only sit still for about 3 minutes but it is beautiful.  You are rolling around and can turn over, almost on demand.  You choose not to use your arms to turn over, instead you scooch your feet under your butt until it gets high enough to pull you over.  It is so funny.

Your 4-month appointment has you at 26 inches long (85%ile), 15lbs (55%) and 42 cm head circumference (50%). 

You have learned to scream, really using those lungs, to let me know how you really feel about having to wait an extra 6 minutes to eat.  You are displeased.  I get that. 

You are a good napper now, which I never expected. 

You are starting rice cereal and you are sucking it down.  You will take 3 tablespoons of cereal with 3-5 ounces of milk and you are still looking for the spoon. 

I was a little sad when we started the feeding process.  You really love it and I am happy about that, but I thought we would just be breastfeeding for a while longer.  You still nurse, but you need me a little less.  That feels a little painful.  I knew it would happen but I expected it around college, not at 4 months.  You are napping now, and I miss you so much.

I am thinking about going back to work.  My boss and I spoke this week and if I want to go back I need to make the decision soon.  I do want to work, but I don't want to leave you.  I feel like I am a little bit of a failure if I am not here with you, and also if I do not work and create something.  I don't know what I should do, I don't want to miss anything but I realize I can't have everything. 

You smile and laugh everytime you see daddy which he loves.  You look at him like he is wonderful and it is perfect to see. 

Love you forever,
mama

2 comments:

Nic said...

I'm very glad to hear that things are going so well!!! Even as you experience the wistfulness as BFing winds down, or he stops doing other things, take heart in the fact that there are going to be many other tender moments to replace those!

J Fife said...

Such a sweet letter. I can feel your love for him.

The whole work/stay-at-home dilemma sucks, doesn't it? Neither path is easy or ideal, but I know you will be amazing at whichever route you decide to follow.