Tuesday, January 10, 2006


It seems that after a failure there is nothing but waiting.  There are some (minor) perks, like being able to have a Cosmo at the holiday party, having a glass of wine for New Year's, sushi for lunch, even lox for Sunday brunch.

All those things are nice, but we have a goal.  We want a child, and being able to have sushi doesn't exactly seem like a fair trade. 

Instead every week I need to go have blood drawn to see that my body isn't freaking out, though why would it?  What are we waiting for?  I was told we need to wait 2 months from the surgery to try again, but noone will tell me why.

All I really want is information.  I don't feel like any of it is complete.  I feel like it comes out in little tiny bursts and only if I pull and fight to get it. 

I am so damn tired of waiting.


Nico said...

I can't stand being told to do something without being given the reason WHY. I've read in a number of places that one should wait three months after a m/c before trying again, but no reason for it. Limbo sucks bigtime!!!

fisher queen said...

Waiting is the worst. I always assumed you had to wait to give the cervix and other bits time to heal? I have no idea if that is true.

J Fife said...

N - How frustrating! What is up with the lack of information? It's not like you can't grasp the answers. Keep fighting for the info. Hopefully, they'll soon figure out that you're not a delicate flower who'll wilt under such heavy knowledge. Big hug!

April said...

It's awful to have to wait for the one thing that you desire most.

I am so incredibly sorry that you're having to be without information and on top of it - forced to wait what feels at times like a prison sentence.

Hoping the time for you goes quickly.

thalia said...

Oh I know, I know. The waiting, the pointlessness about not doing something about this problem that pervades your life, that is truly horrible.

Nico said...

Hi Nicole,

Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you, and hoping that you're doing alright.

Nico said...

I seem to remember that you're in the Boston area - I met with Pixi again last night, and we're going to try and plan a New England gathering for lunch on 2/5. Email me at noperiodbaby AT comcast DOT net if you'd like to come (or, let me know if you'd like to come but can't make it on that day... nothing's set in stone yet!)